Currently, I have a small solo exhibition titled “Ella’s Journey - Art, Resilience and Redemption", showing 11 of my abstract paintings at the outpatient center of a behavioral health hospital. I was asked to tell a bit about my own story with regard to mental health. This is the text that was written for the exhibition:
“At the age of 14, Ella’s life took an unexpected turn when she fell gravely ill. Plagued by the isolating grip of anorexia, she withdrew from the world, finding solace in solitude. Museums became her sanctuaries, parks her inspiration, and nature her muse as she sketched and painted with fervor. At home, she immersed herself in books, pouring her endless thoughts into journals. This quiet, creative retreat was all she could handle - until her illness deepened, shadowed by depression and constant suicidal thoughts.
Ella’s health struggles often kept her from school, but in 11th grade, her passion for art—her favorite subject—began to falter. The classroom, once a place of creation, shifted to endless discussions about art rather than its practice, making school an even greater challenge for her fragile state.
Despite her struggles, Ella’s talent shone through, earning her acceptance into the prestigious Academy of Fine Arts in Munich, Germany. However, before her first semester could begin, a devastating suicide attempt led to her hospitalization. Even in the hospital, her artistic spirit endured as she continued to create, undeterred by her circumstances.
When Ella finally started at the academy, she was still a patient at a night clinic, free to attend classes during the day but required to return each evening. The academy introduced her to a world she’d long avoided—a vibrant, sometimes overwhelming landscape of new experiences. She began smoking, drinking, and attending lively parties, but these indulgences often left her retreating into isolation, working tirelessly at home in her small apartment, despite having a remarkable workspace at the academy.
During her time at the academy, Ella also lived in Vienna, Austria and later in Berlin, Germany, where her curiosity led her to explore dance, joining modern and ballet classes until her dangerously low weight forced her to stop. She also joined a theater group, only to leave for the same reason. During this time, she discovered the extraordinary range of her voice—a magical quality she couldn’t fully pursue as her anorexia worsened, eventually landing her back in the hospital at just 65 pounds. From her hospital bed, she worked on a series of drawings that would later become the cornerstone of her diploma. Too ill to travel, a friend and colleague from the academy delivered these works to Munich on her behalf.
After weeks in a Berlin hospital, Ella’s father brought her to Munich, where her medical journey continued across countless hospitals—too many for her to recall precisely. Each stay was a desperate effort to save her from starvation or other life-threatening choices, including a harrowing moment when she overdosed on nearly 200 pills, including heart medication, antidepressants, and sleeping pills. Found the next morning with her heart stopped and lungs collapsed, Ella defied the odds, emerging from a three-day coma.
Transferred to another hospital and later to one in Munich, Ella’s path remained uncertain. But a pivotal conversation with a doctor sparked a turning point, igniting a mental and physical transformation. Slowly, she began to gain weight, rebuild her strength, and reclaim her life.
Through unimaginable hardship, Ella’s creativity and resilience have remained her guiding lights, illuminating a path toward healing and hope."
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